Build a Community for Yourself

I get so inspired on Sunday mornings during church. I always walk away with ideas for the week, things I need to pray about, changes I need to make, things I need to be thankful for. Today’s message was no different.

The topic? Building community. The essence of the message is that people need to relate to people. I think in today’s world of technology, it is very easy to have “cyber friends” without having people in our daily lives that we can reach out and actually touch, connect, laugh or cry with. I know I can fall into the trap of that since I spend so much time on the computer. I have many cyber friends whom I have never met in person, and likely will not ever meet, but I enjoy chatting with them, sharing comments and getting to “know” them via the web.

I also have friends I have initially met online and have had the joy of meeting in person. People like Bunmi, Laurie, Paul, Erika, and Anneare all friends because of the web but I’ve been privileged to bond with them on a different level that involved a hug, a toast with cocktails, a shared meal or shared laughter during real life.  Chatting with them on Twitter or leaving a comment on their blog is so much sweeter and meaningful now that we’ve met. (so, if you really love your online friends, host a “meet up”!)

Not that the web isn’t real life. It is. It’s an important part of life these days. Many of us work on the web, sharing our blogs, our business, or our thoughts in various online social networks or forums. But can it replace the face-to-face meeting of a friend? I think not.

People (especially women) need to have the association of a small group in which they can share their hurts, joys and fears and celebrations of life. I went through a period of life after having my first child where I remained very sheltered from other women. To be honest, I didn’t enjoy the “Mommy Groups”. Crafts aren’t my thing and non-stop talk about kids was just overload for me. My best girlfriend worked full time and lived 30 miles away. And so, I didn’t get a lot of interaction with other women other than the brief conversations at my son’s tumbling class or at the park.

My husband is my best friend. I had him to share with but I discovered that I needed women to share with. Women connect differently, listen differently and need each other in a different way than we need our guys. My hubby is a great listener but he also saw the need for my finding female friends I could relate to.

I was lucky enough to befriend a wonderful, inspiring and loving (not to mention stylish and gorgeous!) group of moms at the church we began attending around that time. Since then, I’ve had a steady flow of women in my life that I adore and feel safe with. But the sermon today reminded me that once again, I need to take the initiative to reach out and build new relationships.

Life is a revolving door with people coming in and out. Interests change, schedules change and let’s face it, friends do change because of kids. I don’t tolerate ill-behaved children that bully my kids around so if your child is not compatible with mine, we won’t be doing playdates or activities as families. It’s life.

In my ramblings, what I am trying to encourage you to do this week is develop some new relationships. Reach out to other women, say hi to the moms in your daughter’s new preschool class, perhaps try a new class for yourself or a book club to meet others. Don’t allow yourself to be isolated, “too busy” to interact, or rely on your web friends, as great as they may be. Building a community of people around you that you can trust, call in the middle of the night with an emergency, share life with and learn from is essential to your well being. Your own inner beauty comes from what you can offer others and what you can take from a healthy friendship.

Being alone is not how life was intended to be lived. Get off the computer, get into life and build yourself a community of friends that you can enjoy life with!

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